Beautiful pug
photo by me, lunophoto.tumblr.com
As a supporter of the American Mustache Institute, I pledge to:
• ‘Stache my face at StacheAct.com in support of the Stache Act,
which would provide an annuals $250 tax deduction to people of
Mustched American descent.
• Lobby the administration of President Barack Obama, asking him to
grow a mustache during his first term to demonstrate solidarity with
people of Mustached American descent.
• Applaud any Mustached American as they walk past me on the street.
• Castigate clean shaven mortals and remind them that their
bare-lipped appearance is a sign of weakness and communism.
• Dislike all things associated with Dave Navarro.
• Continue my mustache growth in the extremely rare case that it
causes significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and
approval by society at large.
• Never own a cat or watch “Sex And The City.”
• Distrust clean-shaven officers of the law, and if approached by a
mustache-free constable, dial 911 and proceed to a nearby police
station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet me
with open arms.
• Consider the environment before shaving my mustache.
• Never forget that every time a mustache is shaved an angel in
heaven dies and falls to earth.
